Being a Mom on Mission (Impossible)

I was asked recently about "living on mission with your kids"...and I have to be honest, I was pretty stumped for a lot of reasons. But I do think it's an interesting question. It's had me thinking and rethinking. So I thought to share some of my thoughts here on this place where I figure out what's in my heart and what I believe.

Years ago we came to this precious part of the Bride we call our family and we were really broken. We're still broken! ;) But we've been healed from a lot of wounds in this place where Love blooms. One of the biggest contrasts the Lawman and I noticed was that our pastor and his wife were super involved with their kids. Not just a low level interest, but the kind that had them at every basketball and football game and track meet that they could make. It was like oxygen to us. We had come from a driving type way of doing church/faith that left many parents like us feeling they focused "too much" on their kids and family. I remember weepy mom's of nursing babies crying to me on the phone because they had left another meeting hearing that they were elevating their children over ministry by saying they couldn't serve in that particular season of their motherhood. Shame can motivate people into living in such a way that they, "get things done for Jesus."

We have six children. I love each one of them deeply; but I want to communicate that this post isn't about *focus on the family*, but rather a focus on Jesus with your family. What I was learning being around my pastor/his family was that Jesus was at the basketball games, He was at the track meet and their kids...they were the people my friends we reaching for Jesus - not to mention that just showing up at an event and Jesus being in you changes the atmosphere around you and invites others to pursue Him without you knowing most of the time. Discipleship/serving the Bride/reaching others all rolled into being at a game their kids were playing. Wow. This wasn't in the missional family books I'd read.

Back to this refreshing way of serving Jesus with your family. :) We walked with our pastor and his family in small group at our church as they took a few years off leading one themselves to give them more time to be with their kids. Hearing them say they couldn't attend something at our small group or church events because one of their kids was in a game was beautiful and foreign. Did you know that freedom can feel foreign?

There's something about this quick trip called parenting your child that is so confusing and overwhelming and can leave you feeling like you're going to screw up. And you will. You will screw up. But add on the pressure to do this parenting thing well and the pressure to live your life for Jesus...yall, I'm just saying it leaves a lot of folks feeling like failures at the end of the day.

Sometimes it helps me to remember that pride and shame are married and they make babies called Guilt. There's something in us that thinks we can do it all and then when we can't shame creeps in and the result is guilt. To me this sums up most of my parenting outside of Jesus. I put myself in Jesus' place as savior of the world, quickly realize I'm not what I thought I was and then - bam...guilt. And when you're wanting to be Jesus to people and you have kids - it's often a perfect storm leaving us feeling like "Great, now I suck at church and being a Christian."

Here's what I want to say - you're doing awesome. Really. You're getting up every morning and feeding those babies that interrupted your time with Jesus (how do they know you get up at 5:00 to have some quiet?!?!?!?!) that you dragged yourself out of bed to have after being up with a feverish kid most of the night (FYI - Jesus comes to lunch dates too, tired mommas:), you're hugging them and telling them you're sorry for yelling after they threw their food on the floor, you're washing their clothes and cleaning the house, many of you are working outside the home at a job you hate to help pay the bills, you come home and cook some more, you make sure homework is done, some of you are pregnant again, you're trying to make sure your marriage stays healthy, you're not able to work out because the kids have soccer practice, you're getting emails from school asking you to help with a fundraiser, a friend of yours is sick and you take her a meal so she doesn't have to cook, your plumbing is backed up and you need to figure out how to meet the plumber tomorrow, you remember that you forgot your mom's birthday, you stopped to buy a homeless man a hot dog at the gas station, you heard a weird noise in the minivan - great, your kids' teacher called and said your child is struggling in class, you prayed on the phone in the car with someone who is going through a hard time in the marriage on your way to get your child's haircut, you don't live near family so you never get time alone and you're grouchy at dinner, you lock the door at night and make it to bed to remember you missed the church outreach....and that's just one day.

You're doing awesome. Really. And you're living missionally right now. It may not look like it, but I see it and it's beautiful.

It's easy to forget how quickly this time flies by as a parent. When your child walks out your front door into adulthood and living on their own your heart will break into a million parts. You'll want to run after them and say "I'm sorry...I'm sorry I ever yelled, I'm sorry I sought value from man, I'm sorry I didn't look into your eyes more than I did a screen, I'm sorry I'm messed up and I'm just sorry..." But what I hope you're going to remember is that you loved Jesus and people with all of your heart and that you're trusting him to carry your children. Because even if we were all perfect parents Jesus will arrange life for our child to need a Savior. And He's quite jealous of that place in our lives.

So. How does a mother live missional with her kids? She loves Jesus more than her children. She lays her life down in the quiet ways most people will never see. She teaches her children to loves others by loving the homeless man, by letting the kids watch a show while she disciples a college girl that they happen to adore, she prays for the ambulance as it passes, she goes to their games even if it means she misses some church events, she worships in the kitchen like she does at church, she loves her husband the most of any other human being, she just Loves in the hidden small ways and trust Jesus.

Missional living isn't going to be very noticeable...it will be very hidden 99% of the time. And I'm coming to learn that the Joy in the quiet, hidden life is more beautiful and precious than any praises of man that I've ever experienced. Keep your eyes on Jesus, mommas...hear Him and do whatever He says and just remember to take your kids along. I'm over here cheering and yelling "You got this, MOMMA!!!!!!"