Being Invisible
I've been thinking about something when I have a few minutes that aren't interrupted with children running through my legs and me tripping over toys (I do this ALL the time!!! Twenty years and I'm still tripping over them!!;) or helping my 15yo with biology. I've been wondering about how the farmer is helping to win the nations to Jesus and how a mom of six can show His love to those who don't know how much He loves them. And sometimes I wonder if the farmer feels like me - sitting on the bench watching the Kingdom Players play the "real" game?
I don't feel like this very often - nothing like I used to - but sometimes it feels like you're on the bench when what you do everyday is invisible to the things that matter to you and others. Being invisible can compel you to do more and more and get tunnel vision on what you think makes a difference in the world. You begin to remove more and more of who you really are and you begin to add in the things that show up on the "Score Board" for everyone else to see.
I think sometime in my late 20's early 30's this began to happen more and more. Like I've said before I helped lead a women's ministry at our church at that time. What was funny is that it wasn't my idea and I really didn't want to do it - still don't. But I did it because there was something in me that needed to be validated by the people around me. I needed a home run. I needed to be visible. Thankfully, it lasted for a brief time and it was over. My family and I walked away from that season absolutely worn out with trying to "be wise" and we were just plain lonely. When you're worried about not being a "fool" your list of close friends is short because you don't want to be badly influenced...we were on the "fool" list I guess. :) I'd agree.
We were so concerned about selling people Jesus that we tried to make being a Christian seem like a "good way to live" - our faith culture at that time would never want to directly say that Jesus IS everything and will COST you everything. That would be too much for seekers. I sadly offended someone from that time in our life as I tried to explain how we felt today. "Like we're not seeing in black and white anymore, but vivid color." sigh. It's a sad thing to have to apologize for your heart being awakened.
I heard someone last week talk about the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and the Tree of Life. They were talking about how some of us come to be a Christian and have never heard Jesus speak to us. We say "yes" to Jesus and read the Bible and even go to church, but never hear Him. So what we've done is hopped from one branch to the other in the Tree of Knowledge of GOOD and Evil...we don't move to the Tree of Life until we hear Him speak to us and see our lives completely changed and want to live FOR Him and not just WITH Him. Wow. That summed up that earlier season in my life when I was swinging from GOOD branch to GOOD branch...in the wrong tree. BUT you could see me in the wrong tree ~ swinging away, for sure I was visible.
When we came to the faith family we now call Home we heard about Jesus. I'm not joking. I knew about Him, but I didn't really know Him.
Ghandi (stay with me;) said:
Exactly.
I'd never been around a group of people so much like Jesus before in my life. In John 13:35 Jesus is talking to his close friends and says "Everyone is going to know you're my disciples by the way that you love each other."YES!!!! I know it sounds strange, but it's true. I know it sounds rare - and it is, but it's here and it's real. And if the loving trips up your judging...good. :)
Over these past six years we've never been as loved, challenged and showered with grace. The kind of leadership we've experienced is one that encourages us to hear Jesus and do whatever He says. This has been freeing as I'm a momma to six children. There's no ladder to climb. There's no "doing" outside of what Jesus is saying to you. And you WANT to jump in and help - you WANT others to experience this kind of love! My husband says "The lovers will outwork the workers any day of the week." and I think that's the key. When you're in Love with Him you're ready for it to cost you everything...everything. Even visibility.
Sometimes when what Jesus is saying is "Be a momma." you can feel invisible. :) I've gotten to where I like being invisible for the most part. I remember seeing the following clip and it saying everything my heart was trying to say about 6 years ago:
The Invisible Woman
The thing is that we all have an audience of One. Really. That's all that matters is hearing His voice and doing what He says. And let me tell you - when you fall in love with Someone, you naturally will want to do things for Him. You can't help yourself...even if for a season you'll be invisible. :)
I don't feel like this very often - nothing like I used to - but sometimes it feels like you're on the bench when what you do everyday is invisible to the things that matter to you and others. Being invisible can compel you to do more and more and get tunnel vision on what you think makes a difference in the world. You begin to remove more and more of who you really are and you begin to add in the things that show up on the "Score Board" for everyone else to see.
I think sometime in my late 20's early 30's this began to happen more and more. Like I've said before I helped lead a women's ministry at our church at that time. What was funny is that it wasn't my idea and I really didn't want to do it - still don't. But I did it because there was something in me that needed to be validated by the people around me. I needed a home run. I needed to be visible. Thankfully, it lasted for a brief time and it was over. My family and I walked away from that season absolutely worn out with trying to "be wise" and we were just plain lonely. When you're worried about not being a "fool" your list of close friends is short because you don't want to be badly influenced...we were on the "fool" list I guess. :) I'd agree.
We were so concerned about selling people Jesus that we tried to make being a Christian seem like a "good way to live" - our faith culture at that time would never want to directly say that Jesus IS everything and will COST you everything. That would be too much for seekers. I sadly offended someone from that time in our life as I tried to explain how we felt today. "Like we're not seeing in black and white anymore, but vivid color." sigh. It's a sad thing to have to apologize for your heart being awakened.
I heard someone last week talk about the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and the Tree of Life. They were talking about how some of us come to be a Christian and have never heard Jesus speak to us. We say "yes" to Jesus and read the Bible and even go to church, but never hear Him. So what we've done is hopped from one branch to the other in the Tree of Knowledge of GOOD and Evil...we don't move to the Tree of Life until we hear Him speak to us and see our lives completely changed and want to live FOR Him and not just WITH Him. Wow. That summed up that earlier season in my life when I was swinging from GOOD branch to GOOD branch...in the wrong tree. BUT you could see me in the wrong tree ~ swinging away, for sure I was visible.
When we came to the faith family we now call Home we heard about Jesus. I'm not joking. I knew about Him, but I didn't really know Him.
Ghandi (stay with me;) said:
"I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ."
I'd never been around a group of people so much like Jesus before in my life. In John 13:35 Jesus is talking to his close friends and says "Everyone is going to know you're my disciples by the way that you love each other."YES!!!! I know it sounds strange, but it's true. I know it sounds rare - and it is, but it's here and it's real. And if the loving trips up your judging...good. :)
Over these past six years we've never been as loved, challenged and showered with grace. The kind of leadership we've experienced is one that encourages us to hear Jesus and do whatever He says. This has been freeing as I'm a momma to six children. There's no ladder to climb. There's no "doing" outside of what Jesus is saying to you. And you WANT to jump in and help - you WANT others to experience this kind of love! My husband says "The lovers will outwork the workers any day of the week." and I think that's the key. When you're in Love with Him you're ready for it to cost you everything...everything. Even visibility.
Sometimes when what Jesus is saying is "Be a momma." you can feel invisible. :) I've gotten to where I like being invisible for the most part. I remember seeing the following clip and it saying everything my heart was trying to say about 6 years ago:
The Invisible Woman
The thing is that we all have an audience of One. Really. That's all that matters is hearing His voice and doing what He says. And let me tell you - when you fall in love with Someone, you naturally will want to do things for Him. You can't help yourself...even if for a season you'll be invisible. :)
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