Confessions of Grace
It's Mother's Day and I'm sitting here alone. And I'm so happy!!! LOL!!! If you've never been the sole caregiver of multiple toddlers with beautiful high school and college age kids who number more than the fingers on one of your hands then you can sit in the cheap seats and judge away and throw rotten veggies at this whole match of *Ami's Flesh vs Ami's Heart.* ;) I might even hop off the court and join you! But I thought it would be good for me to confess that sometimes being a mom is a lot and all of the ways I've messed up is more than a lot and that sometimes when your husbands offers to take the kids out for awhile on Mother's Day you just might want to run through the quiet house screaming for joy. #HappyMothersDaytoMe!!! Time away from your kids makes time with them even sweeter ~ especially those tiny ones who can't sit still to save their lives!
We sat around the table this morning and ate a beautiful brunch cooked by my husband. We laughed and corrected little people's table manners, listened to the goings on at college and made plans for the day as the rain poured on the plains. Loved it. Before we got up my oldest daughter asked, "What has being a mother taught you about life and about yourself?" Wow. Those are hard questions to answer, but I've been thinking about them since. I thought for a minute as I ate the last of my meal and realized that motherhood has taught me about grace and how I rarely hit the "mark" as a mom, but that Jesus can make everything right. While my heart longs for the perfection of Heaven to be here now - in reality my efforts are paltry. I need the resurrection every day. Parenting will never be a breeze, but the easy yoke and lighter load offered when I discovered Grace changed everything.
Being a parent is the hardest job I've ever had. It is this daily pouring out and directing and redirecting of your heart and your children's than can leave you a crying mess by 4:00 in the afternoon. Not only are you responsible for the physical well-being of whomever you call your children, you are also spiritually and emotionally and academically responsible for them too. Where's the margarita??? ;)
I've learned more from my own and other's mess ups than I ever have from anything I've done right. In fact, the Bible is full of messed up people who find His grace gives them the strength to obey Him. I thought maybe some younger moms (both of you;) who read this blog would be encouraged by hearing about a couple of my many mess ups as a mom and how Grace found me and keeps finding me because I keep messing up. If not, just enjoy the comedy of my efforts to be a good mom!
You have to know that my husband and I have made attempts at doing this family thing according to the books. Whatever books we have read about being a family was our effort at "Do it right." There is a common thread in all of the parenting books - consistency. What I can say that we've done consistently over the years is love Jesus and something else we have also consistently done is mess up - 100% of the time there has been sin involved in everything we've done as a parent. Good efforts + sin = a mess up on some level. So. Good times over here if you're a Burr kid. :) But I think what this equation magnifies is the absolute necessity of giving yourself and your children grace...every stinkin' day. It also invites the mystery of God and His ways to make things new. We just think we're the ones making things right - not really...we're just entering into His rightness by the posture of our hearts.
Family Devos:
I remember a time when my husband and I wanted to instill the importance of family devotions. While we had never experienced them as a child we thought they must be important because they're in all of the good parenting books and the first topic of every great Christian parenting speaker. We wanted an awesome Christian family too so over the years we would make attempts at gathering the kids around to read the Bible, pray and share. Complete disaster. I'm laughing now, but back then the stress of just getting this posse of kids up and fed and educated every day seemed as impossible as climbing Everest with no oxygen tank. Throw in getting them to be excited about devotions seemed crazy. Because it was crazy. I remember once we tried to dial it down to us reading responsive prayers - we had given up on anybody wanting to actually share their heart in prayer in front of their siblings and parents - and my oldest looking at us and saying, "Can we please stop doing this...it just feels like we're practicing another religion!" So we did. We stopped the madness and I think we were all relieved.
You may be thinking we gave up and you're right! I know that family devotions have been a beautiful experience for so many families - I'm not knocking them at all. But what I think is important is to know that every family is different. Our family is comprised of people who need space to experience an authentic relationship with Jesus. Our kids have awakened in the morning to see us seek Jesus and they hear us worship to music in the kitchen and they see us pray, but gather us together to share what we've learned in scripture or bare our hearts to each other around the table and you will hear crickets because that's not how we role. But once we experience His presence in our individual way, as all the kids eventually began to do, we do best as a family expressing our faith in action. Give the Burrs an event or a mission or some donuts to hand out to the homeless and we're awesome as a group. Just keep the Celtic Book of Daily Prayers tucked away as it may produce some negative reactions. :)
Home School-Public School-Private School:
If you ever want to get a lot of comments on your social media accounts ask folks about how they prefer to birth their babies, feed or educate their children. You will get a LOT of different opinions. :)
Someone the other day mentioned being weird in school because of something they wore and I said, "I can relate. I was home schooled in the 80's." Bless my heart. It was awful. I really don't know how my sweet mom didn't choke me to death. I didn't read until I was in 3rd grade and I had this know-it-all attitude that I still have today. Whew - she's a saint. Needless to say, having been home schooled and home schooling my own kids I know a few things about it.
When we first started home schooling we lived in an area that wasn't known for it's stellar elementary school. We didn't have the money to send our kids to private school, so we decided we would home school. I stopped my education to start working full time when I was in 8th grade...so you can see the holes in my even thinking I had something to really teach my kids. Mercy, Jesus.
Back then the beautiful home school companies offering amazing curricula today were not around and if they were they were under the radar and hard to find. There were a few Christian companies who produced curricula for classroom settings, but not very much at all for the mom teaching her kids on her own. So we muddled our way through my kids' education. Sometimes I can get really down on myself about all that I didn't do for my kids and then one of them will say, "Mom, you have two kids in college with scholarships - it's okay! I have friends who went to real school and can't pass classes here." Grace on this momma.
Over the years we have loved our time in private schools and now public school too. I love all of the modes of education. They're all broken because broken folks make broken things, but I still appreciate each one. In my idyllic world all families work on farms together and learn to take care of the earth and each other in a simple, unhurried way and enjoy a beautiful book around the fire at night. But that's not reality and it's important to know that Jesus is into kids learning. It is however a telling moment when someone looks at your home schooled children and asks, "Do you love your mom being your teacher?" and they respond "Umm, not really." I'm laughing - I LOVE MY KIDS!!! If there's one thing I have done "right" it's been in teaching them to be honest, at least as honest as they can be and sometimes I want to shove a filter into their brain before they tell me what they're thinking. But I hope they always remember that their education in honest and intimate living is what really mattered.
The Pressure is Off:
I need to stop now - the Lawman is on his way home with my clan. I hope you'll remember that the pressure is off. Really. You could do everything perfect and Jesus will engineer life for your child to realize their great need for Him. He is jealous to be their King - you can never be what they need to find complete joy and satisfaction. Only He can satisfy.
The most important thing to offer yourself and your children is the beautiful reality of the resurrection. How He looked at us and saw that we could never be what our hearts longed to/not to be ~ but that He would be everything for us. Everything. He would give his life and come and make things right for us. Like our friend said the other night, "There is this huge yard of Grace that we are surrounded by as we learn to walk out our faith and the Father is right behind us with His protective arms ready to catch us when we fall." And we will...and the falls get harder the older you get. You'll need more grace. I love that. Because it's a beautiful thing to experience the mystery of God in parenting...absolutely the stuff of legends when you realize that He's the one who makes anything good come from our attempts to look like Him. Grace on us ~ showers and showers of grace.
We sat around the table this morning and ate a beautiful brunch cooked by my husband. We laughed and corrected little people's table manners, listened to the goings on at college and made plans for the day as the rain poured on the plains. Loved it. Before we got up my oldest daughter asked, "What has being a mother taught you about life and about yourself?" Wow. Those are hard questions to answer, but I've been thinking about them since. I thought for a minute as I ate the last of my meal and realized that motherhood has taught me about grace and how I rarely hit the "mark" as a mom, but that Jesus can make everything right. While my heart longs for the perfection of Heaven to be here now - in reality my efforts are paltry. I need the resurrection every day. Parenting will never be a breeze, but the easy yoke and lighter load offered when I discovered Grace changed everything. Being a parent is the hardest job I've ever had. It is this daily pouring out and directing and redirecting of your heart and your children's than can leave you a crying mess by 4:00 in the afternoon. Not only are you responsible for the physical well-being of whomever you call your children, you are also spiritually and emotionally and academically responsible for them too. Where's the margarita??? ;)
I've learned more from my own and other's mess ups than I ever have from anything I've done right. In fact, the Bible is full of messed up people who find His grace gives them the strength to obey Him. I thought maybe some younger moms (both of you;) who read this blog would be encouraged by hearing about a couple of my many mess ups as a mom and how Grace found me and keeps finding me because I keep messing up. If not, just enjoy the comedy of my efforts to be a good mom!
You have to know that my husband and I have made attempts at doing this family thing according to the books. Whatever books we have read about being a family was our effort at "Do it right." There is a common thread in all of the parenting books - consistency. What I can say that we've done consistently over the years is love Jesus and something else we have also consistently done is mess up - 100% of the time there has been sin involved in everything we've done as a parent. Good efforts + sin = a mess up on some level. So. Good times over here if you're a Burr kid. :) But I think what this equation magnifies is the absolute necessity of giving yourself and your children grace...every stinkin' day. It also invites the mystery of God and His ways to make things new. We just think we're the ones making things right - not really...we're just entering into His rightness by the posture of our hearts.
Family Devos:
I remember a time when my husband and I wanted to instill the importance of family devotions. While we had never experienced them as a child we thought they must be important because they're in all of the good parenting books and the first topic of every great Christian parenting speaker. We wanted an awesome Christian family too so over the years we would make attempts at gathering the kids around to read the Bible, pray and share. Complete disaster. I'm laughing now, but back then the stress of just getting this posse of kids up and fed and educated every day seemed as impossible as climbing Everest with no oxygen tank. Throw in getting them to be excited about devotions seemed crazy. Because it was crazy. I remember once we tried to dial it down to us reading responsive prayers - we had given up on anybody wanting to actually share their heart in prayer in front of their siblings and parents - and my oldest looking at us and saying, "Can we please stop doing this...it just feels like we're practicing another religion!" So we did. We stopped the madness and I think we were all relieved. You may be thinking we gave up and you're right! I know that family devotions have been a beautiful experience for so many families - I'm not knocking them at all. But what I think is important is to know that every family is different. Our family is comprised of people who need space to experience an authentic relationship with Jesus. Our kids have awakened in the morning to see us seek Jesus and they hear us worship to music in the kitchen and they see us pray, but gather us together to share what we've learned in scripture or bare our hearts to each other around the table and you will hear crickets because that's not how we role. But once we experience His presence in our individual way, as all the kids eventually began to do, we do best as a family expressing our faith in action. Give the Burrs an event or a mission or some donuts to hand out to the homeless and we're awesome as a group. Just keep the Celtic Book of Daily Prayers tucked away as it may produce some negative reactions. :)
Home School-Public School-Private School:
If you ever want to get a lot of comments on your social media accounts ask folks about how they prefer to birth their babies, feed or educate their children. You will get a LOT of different opinions. :)
Someone the other day mentioned being weird in school because of something they wore and I said, "I can relate. I was home schooled in the 80's." Bless my heart. It was awful. I really don't know how my sweet mom didn't choke me to death. I didn't read until I was in 3rd grade and I had this know-it-all attitude that I still have today. Whew - she's a saint. Needless to say, having been home schooled and home schooling my own kids I know a few things about it.
When we first started home schooling we lived in an area that wasn't known for it's stellar elementary school. We didn't have the money to send our kids to private school, so we decided we would home school. I stopped my education to start working full time when I was in 8th grade...so you can see the holes in my even thinking I had something to really teach my kids. Mercy, Jesus.Back then the beautiful home school companies offering amazing curricula today were not around and if they were they were under the radar and hard to find. There were a few Christian companies who produced curricula for classroom settings, but not very much at all for the mom teaching her kids on her own. So we muddled our way through my kids' education. Sometimes I can get really down on myself about all that I didn't do for my kids and then one of them will say, "Mom, you have two kids in college with scholarships - it's okay! I have friends who went to real school and can't pass classes here." Grace on this momma.
Over the years we have loved our time in private schools and now public school too. I love all of the modes of education. They're all broken because broken folks make broken things, but I still appreciate each one. In my idyllic world all families work on farms together and learn to take care of the earth and each other in a simple, unhurried way and enjoy a beautiful book around the fire at night. But that's not reality and it's important to know that Jesus is into kids learning. It is however a telling moment when someone looks at your home schooled children and asks, "Do you love your mom being your teacher?" and they respond "Umm, not really." I'm laughing - I LOVE MY KIDS!!! If there's one thing I have done "right" it's been in teaching them to be honest, at least as honest as they can be and sometimes I want to shove a filter into their brain before they tell me what they're thinking. But I hope they always remember that their education in honest and intimate living is what really mattered.
The Pressure is Off:
I need to stop now - the Lawman is on his way home with my clan. I hope you'll remember that the pressure is off. Really. You could do everything perfect and Jesus will engineer life for your child to realize their great need for Him. He is jealous to be their King - you can never be what they need to find complete joy and satisfaction. Only He can satisfy.
The most important thing to offer yourself and your children is the beautiful reality of the resurrection. How He looked at us and saw that we could never be what our hearts longed to/not to be ~ but that He would be everything for us. Everything. He would give his life and come and make things right for us. Like our friend said the other night, "There is this huge yard of Grace that we are surrounded by as we learn to walk out our faith and the Father is right behind us with His protective arms ready to catch us when we fall." And we will...and the falls get harder the older you get. You'll need more grace. I love that. Because it's a beautiful thing to experience the mystery of God in parenting...absolutely the stuff of legends when you realize that He's the one who makes anything good come from our attempts to look like Him. Grace on us ~ showers and showers of grace.
Comments
Post a Comment