Mongolia Vol 5 - The Mystery of Trust

My teenagers have a pet peeve with me - they can't understand why I want my smart phone's screen turned up to the brightest setting. On the other hand I don't know how they see a durned thing on their barely lit screens. "Mom! You're going to run your battery out!" I'm not sure why they need to worry about MY phone anyways! ;) But it's a great example of how I've felt most of our days here in Mongolia - the screen has been on *low light* and I do not know what He's doing most of the time, but I trust Him. Because when you love Someone you must trust them or you will look for another lover.  Like this morning...a random number keeps calling my phone and shutting off the sound machine and waking children. I had just realized about two weeks ago that if I put my phone on a small speaker and opened both my door and the boys door that I could drown out the barking dogs. So I mumbled to my Groom as I got up at another night of 4'ish hours of sleep, "I think You are most creative in the ways you keep sleep from me. Most creative." I felt Him asking me to write - which I didn't want to do, I wanted to go back to bed. But here we go...write I shall...

Over the years Jesus has put books and speakers in front of me regarding the subject of *thankfulness*. It's been a journey and I remember the first time I read an author who was brave enough to suggest that suffering was a gift from Providence. I stopped like someone who's just turned around to see the Tree in the forest for the first time. "This could change everything..." I thought "...everything." Over time I would come to know that mistrust is a tree firmly planted in the soil of ingratitude. But trust will grow like a miracle if you plant her in thankfulness - and gratitude is the most complicated language/soil you will ever learn till. When there's a lack of trust every hardship will seem devastating and every change will knock you off your feet; but when you can relax into the arms of Trust and risk looking like a fool, your tree will become shade for your family and for others. 

There are many stories and facets to this summer in Mongolia, many of them I will never be able to share because they simply would not edify anyone listening. I'm not one to sugar coat things, but when a movement is shifting and changing and growing there is potential for a lot of adjustment for everyone. Opportunity after opportunity presents itself to choose to love and choose to see the best in others and to choose to trust. But sometimes when you've been trusting for a good long while you can also become indifferent. "Oh, yeah I don't know..." can be your first response when you're in a storm of having to choose to trust over and over. It can be exhausting to ponder what He might be doing and why. I think that's where the Lawman and I were earlier this week - this has been summer of having to trust to the point where it can become monotonous.

God is bigger than our monotony. He can come crashing into our stupor and lift our weary heads and say "Watch Me display my wonders and my glories." I'll post later about a powerful outreach that our students had last weekend. Deaf hearing, springs beginning to bubble, salvations...was beautiful. But I love the parts of stories that are unexpected, the parts you haven't been praying about or thinking about and honestly, maybe you've even forgotten. Maybe all you've been able to do is thank Him for sending you to a country you that you have NO IDEA why you've been sent.

Many, many years ago in a the Lawman and I were hungry for more of Jesus. We were serving in a church that valued works and formula. Thankfully, we could never figure out the formulas, but we did learn a lot of basic - sometimes boring - parts of our Faith and how to support the Bride. The top value we learned was faithfulness and how it can seem insignificant to bring that meal you promised or to check in on a friend when your own life is crazy or to show up to do your part in the children's ministry or making other arrangements for the item you were supposed to bring to life group...all of those "boring" parts of faithfulness that stand out to leaders who are carrying the weight of leading you. So it was that we were practicing the "boring" parts of Christianity when we picked up a book one day, The Kite Runner.

The Kite Runner is a book about the lives of people in Afghanistan. I would only recommend the book to those who feel Jesus asking them to read it. Many nights I would cry myself to sleep after laying the book on my nightstand and turning out the light. "How can people be so inhumane?" You know - now that I'm typing this...that book was my first awareness of human trafficking. It planted the seeds of intercession for people truly without hope. The book highlights a certain group of outcast people in Afghanistan, the Hazara. They are the largest people group in Afghanistan. Do you remember the girl on the cover of National Geographic many years ago? She was Hazara. I remember seeing that edition - NG is my fav magazine ;) - but I had no idea where she had come from or much about her story. I just remembered her eyes.

God keeps things He's planted in your heart alive - you don't have to strive to keep them beating. Over time Chris and I would  hear things about Afghanistan, we would pray and read the next book written by Khaled Hossein, A Thousand Splendid Suns. We would fall in love with the people of this country and we would cry when we would see them. Spontaneously cry for no good reason. And God would do sweet things like bringing a  beautiful newly married couple to our life group a few years ago who met in Afghanistan and married and love the Hazara just as much as we do. We didn't quit our job and run off to the best mission org sending folks to Afghanistan. We just kept doing life with children and work and loving Jesus and people. But He is so kind to keep those things He means to stay alive in your heart beating at the rhythm He desires.

My second son was talking to me the other day about the nations. We have a time every year at a conference that our movement host, World Mandate, where we stop to listen to Jesus. During this time we are asking Him if He wants to highlight any particular country for us to pray for or go to in the future. I've never seen or heard any country and neither has the Lawman. My son and I were discussing this the other night and he said "I've never heard a country, but Jesus told me last year that I was called to 'Bring the outcast in." I thought about how much that fits him - how he is a 6'2 gentle giant ready to slay dragons for people's freedom. All my kids have names God has given me, my oldest is "Defender", my daughter "Healer" and this boy - "Freedom Bringer"....but I didn't think much more about our conversation because it was time for baths for three wiggly toddlers.

This week we were visiting with friends over a meal of amazing food. The Lawman and I are in the middle of an extended fast, but we had already scheduled this meal with our Mongolian friends prior to Jesus asking us not to eat for awhile and we felt to keep the date. While we were sitting there sharing stories and eating I was very, very, very content and distracted with the amazing food I was eating. I wasn't thinking about anything, but just being with dear friends and hearing their weary hearts and enjoying immensely the food. Somewhere toward the end of the meal our conversation turned to Afghanistan. I'm not sure why, because we rarely if ever talk about how much we love this country and the Hazara people...whom we've never met.;), but we mentioned that one day we'd love to visit. 

Have you ever had a moment when more pieces of a puzzle start to fall together and you want to turn around and see where the hidden camera might be located? As we sat there that night I saw a few more falling into place... "Oh, that's great! We'd love to take you there someday. Did you know that the Hazara in Afghanistan come from Mongolia? Yes, they're considered outcast." our friend said. I almost stopped breathing. Tears stung my eyes as my Bridegroom whispered into my ear..."Did you by chance notice the name of the restaurant you're sitting in, my love? Yes, Hazara...oh, and the country this restaurant is located in...Mongolia? Surprise...my ways are higher. And that boy of yours...he wants to bring in the outcast. My ways are higher...trust Me, keep trusting Me."

We said goodbye to the owner of the restaurant, who of course the Lawman had already befriended the last time we had eaten there, and I cried looking into his eyes. Standing there watching the Lawman do what he does best, invite people into the Father heart of God, I whispered to my Lover, "I don't know why we're here in Mongolia, but I trust You...and I love the way You write our stories when we give You the pen."

So. It's back to work and raising children for the Burr Clan here in a few weeks. We don't have plans to sell everything and run off to the Hazara - not now or for a long while or maybe ever. And who knows what the Freedom Bringer will be called to free. But we are listening to Him and watching Him continue to take our love for Him and people and a willingness to risk and see Him do things that we cannot understand. You don't have to be a super star to follow Jesus and see Him display His might and power...you just have to surrender and trust. And He will always respond, always...