A Post from the Lawman and Me

 

“Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.”  Mark Twain

 

“There are so many squash. There are so many cucumbers. Gah.” This is what keeps repeating in my head this time of year like the Barney song you cannot stop singing from that kid's show. Abundance sounds lovely until your abundance meets your lack to manage the bounty. Sometimes I miss choosing denial in regard to knowing what I cannot unknow about so many things. Like too many squash and cucumbers, sometimes reality demands that you process it – do something with it – so that it can bring life to your body rather than rot and go to waste.

Denying that our food system is more fragile than the spider webs I swept down from the ceiling in the barn this morning and that GMO foods are causing so much damage to our bodies and the planet isn’t an option for me anymore as much as I wish it were. Like a comedian recently said, “The last words of a scientist who doesn’t know the danger they’ve created will be, ‘Shoot, it worked.’”

I was thinking today, as I killed the hornworms eating my tomato plants, about how we got here. Here on the farm and how the world has gotten where it’s at, too. You don’t just wake up one morning wanting to grow your own food, raise animals in a humane way, and see the Kingdom touch the earth on a farm. But it does start somewhere.

About ten years ago it was like God pulled us aside and said, “I’m going to show you some things, let’s sit down and talk.” It was like we took the red pill and started on a journey. But that journey began with seeing behind the curtain per se at our church and then our religion. The revelation of what we saw and were participating in shifted something in us. Learning to trust yourself and allowing people to tell you who they are and believe them even when you don’t want to, is the hardest step.

My daughter’s in law are a PURE GIFT. Never knew how dear this part of your kids getting married would be. Love them both so deeply. I was talking with one of them a few years ago. We were all deconstructing our faith and she and I were processing. One of the things the institution of the current American church does is to make you doubt yourself, to not trust your gut; but rather to follow leadership. Interesting. Don’t think for yourself, just do what we say is best for everyone because we’re professionals. Don’t be selfish and think of what is best for you, be more altruistic – think of what your questions/leaving will do to the church and everyone here. Sounds familiar in a lot of ways these days. After covid, I think we’re all a bit wary of Big Anything’s or the "professional opinion" about what we should be doing. And for good reason.

Being addicted to denial and comfort, we are often willing to do whatever is required for things to just, “Go back to normal.” That’s where I find myself sometimes out here on the farm – wanting to just go back to normal. Wanting to just buy all my food at the grocery store so I have more time for reading or whatever and deny what I know and even more, that I am part of the change. GAH! Make it stop!

I am not out trying to change the world, just to offer resistance in my small way. Against how we have become so dependent on big corporations to provide for us – for food, for faith, for education, for most everything. We have become a nation whose religion is denial and comfort. Being willing to do whatever it takes to not be uncomfortable and denying the truths of what it means to honor Him – our fist raised at God – actually, these days comfort is our god.        

I often find myself getting cut up by a zucchini plant’s large, sharp leaves thinking, “I don’t even really LIKE zucchini. In fact, why did I grow this stupid plant??” But if I’m being honest, which I am trying to do here in this space, certain plants can make you feel like you are good at gardening. They grow fast, big, and produce a lot of veg. Included in that list is the zucchini plant. It’s just fun to grow and looks big and lovely and never stops giving you more than you can eat. Oddly, these types of plants do not have a great deal of nutritional value, but they do make you feel good about yourself. GMO farming can make you feel good about yourself, too. 

GMO seeds (genetically modified organisms) were created in a lab and designed to work with pesticides. Farmers could plant these GMO seeds, spray the pesticides that would literally kill everything else but the GMO plant and get an amazing harvest after applying the GMO company’s fertilizer. It is just honestly, all too good to be true. What large, greedy ag like Monsanto doesn’t tell these farmers is that their soil will be left sterile, that all of the microclimates their pesticides kill will cause erosion, and will allow the rain to wash the chemical fertilizers in the eroding soil into the rivers where they will kill aquatic life. Perfect. You can be the most successful farmer in your area working with GMOs while you quite literally kill the soil for the next generation.

We are not the parasites we’ve been told we are by current culture, we are Image Bearers who have the free will to make choices. We have a choice to humble ourselves and return to God. Humble ourselves and walk away from denial and comfort in our faith, our food, our families, and our whole lives. We can choose truth and sacrifice for this next generation. Maybe we can be the rock in the power’s that be shoe that eventually makes it cripple.

When I come inside to wash off the sting of the zucchini plant or when I'm cutting up the thousandth cucumber to make pickles I find myself understanding a lot about what it means to be a human trying to love God and people. Slowing down, sacrificing, doing hard things rather than choosing convenience, making choices that cut into my comfort, and finding joy in life - a simple life. Refusing denial and comfort wakes you up, really...wakes you up to a whole new world where trust and faith are essential. 

Maybe we can be like David shouting at Goliath as we turn our backs on comfort and denial, “You come to me with a sword and with a spear and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you down and cut off your head. And I will give the dead bodies of the host of the Philistines this day to the birds of the air and to the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, and that all this assembly may know that the Lord saves not with sword and spear. For the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give you into our hand.” 1 Samuel 17:45-47

And like David, we can hang Goliath's head on the doors of these institutions that mock the small things we can do to change this world. Mock away, big boys ~ we've got plenty of small stones.