Farming, Anniversary, Wedding, Death and Presence

Farming: The scrub grass, small trees and patches of hay had all grown up since July and needed one more pass with the tractor last month before the temperatures dropped into freezing, signaling natures long rest. We'd all taken turns mowing the thirty acres up on the top portion of the farm. Being on the tractor with the beauty that surrounds us is one of my favorite farm chores. Doing them with my family just makes it all the better.

Caring for land is a holy thing and although it can leave you exhausted it is one of the more fulfilling acts we've been able to participate in in our lives. Where we used to care for lawns and flower beds that beautified our homes, we now care for our land in the hopes that she will care for us too. It's a humbling posture, much like a marriage. You give 100% no matter what you get in return. Sacrificial love cost you everything with no promise of a return on your investment.

All along the farm to market roads you can watch farmers preparing for the next season. Fruit and vegetables have all been harvested and either sold or canned, except for apples and pumpkins ~ autumn's signature crops. Roll after roll of fresh hay dot the hillsides. Spring calves, chickens and lambs are hearty enough now to make it through an Appalachian winter. Not unlike human mothers, the animal mothers seem ready for a break from nursing. 

I drove by a farm near ours and saw a mother hen rushing her little "fluffs of Heaven" as my girls call chicks, across the lane as my truck approached. She seemed just a frazzled as any young mother I know when monitoring children around the street. So much togetherness.:)  Bless her. Mothers need a lot of cheering on and a lot of sleep. Amen.

The soil and animals and farmers are all tired. A good tired - the kind that comes from a lot of living and working outside. This forced rhythm of rest is needed for all of the living things out here wrestling a life from the land. The nights are colder and longer as mother nature prepares to fall into a deep slumber. It feels like our tired souls are preparing for a long rest too. A much needed, long rest. As the grey skies hang low it makes the fall foliage all the more vibrant and the colors that appear after a rain are like magic. Life is like that too. Somehow the grey, hard times make the easier times even more beautiful, while rain washes off all the dust from the journey. The rains of the Spirit have washed away the residue on our souls. 

Anniversary: The Lawman and I just raised glasses to celebrating 25 years on October 2nd!! We've grown up a lot since that beautiful fall day with the perfect sunset in 1992. Had so many wonderful adventures and made some life long friends along the way. Yet, like a child losing innocence, we are very much aware now of people and their intentions and relating to them. We are both a little bit "harder", wiser maybe - not as accepting off the bat of folks. For sure if they're a part of a religious organization. But joy profound, marriage is more beautiful and precious than ever. Grateful. Grateful for the 25 years we've walked together and hoping for at least that many more to share coffee, dreams, family and friends...just being present.

Wedding: Just last week our oldest son married a girl who answered every heart prayer we've ever prayed regarding a wife for our oldest. And can we talk about the beautiful curly, red hair??!!!!! ;) We had a sneaking suspicion she might be "the one" last spring when she came by the house with him on the way with friends to Colorado. Then when he told us he was taking her to the wilderness area, where his dad took him to mark his manhood during his 14th summer, to ask for her hand in marriage we couldn't contain the smiles. If we are anything, we are big on symbolism in this clan and manhood and an invitation to marriage starting in the same beautiful space on earth seemed to go together 

The whole wedding was exactly them - from start to finish. Married in an old church with pews that were from the middle 1800's to the petting zoo for the kids to the dancing and pizza for dinner! All beautiful, simple and making everyone at ease that came. It keeps a smile on the Lawman and my face. He had been worried that he would "ugly cry" or not make sense with his words. I told him the morning of the wedding, "They asked you to marry them and this is your gift to them - don't worry about what people think...just give them your gift. He did just that and I sat there as he spoke to them smiling and thinking "You were made to lead moments like these."  I cannot remember the number of people who made sure to tell us it was the most beautiful wedding they'd ever attended. When you give something from deep inside your soul, unworried of what others think, well, it is the most precious of gifts.

Faces of friends and family that gathered around our son and now daughter in law, still brings tears to my eyes. Folks had called or text to let us know they couldn't attend, but we felt them there anyway. Spirit feels spirit. The people that remain in your family's journey are the most precious of gifts. Like stars in the skies that are consistently there, even on the darkest of nights - that make them shine so brightly...the gathering of people during the dance of saying "I do" felt sacred. 

There was a moment in the ceremony when Chris had the bride and groom turn around to take a  look at the faces of community that were there for the magical evening. The faces there saying, "We've got you...we're here for you now in this holy, sacred moment and for the rest of your days. We've helped get you here and we'll help get you to the end too." Tears were in both of their eyes and many of the eyes looking back at them. Some had been there the moment our son was born and others walked alongside him during the awkward years of a teenager and others were life long friends that began to run life's race with him in college. So many had been present along life's road for our children. It's important to take the time to see the ones around us...so very important.

The table Jon made for Victoria to share their first meal as a married couple.

We don't know all that life holds for us, we don't know the number of days each of us has; but we do know and have this - each other. We were meant to be together. In our house we say, "Together is better." And that beautiful night together was so profoundly tangible from the ceremony to the dancing and the feasting to the shouting as the newlyweds ran to their Jeep. All of us together, because it really is better. 

For the Burr clan - we love gathering around the table. It equalizes everyone and offers the vulnerability that eating a meal together can bring. Cooking for his people was what Jesus continued to do, and said to keep doing, when he was with those he loved. Hearing that our son was making a table, an altar to gather around and worship Him really, for his bride - well...made us cry too. ;) Lots of tears around here these days.

Death: Our school community gathered to grieve after the death of one of our own. Time to grieve and prepare for ways to care for three small children under the age of five and their dad. They had said good-bye to their 33 year old mom, who died after a battle with cancer, the day before. There is nothing right to me about small children and a young father watching their mother/wife slip through the veil. Nothing. I'm new to the community, but I could not stop the tears as our director shared that Renee had passed the day before. 

Death has a way of narrowing down, real fast, what matters and what doesn't. When Jesus died all that mattered to the Believers was being together. Holed up in a room together - crying, remembering and sharing meals together. From the ones gathered around his birth, death, burial and resurrection and one day wedding feast...He's always been asking for our presence. "Will you be present with me?" he seemed to asked during His time here..."I've made a way for us to be together. Forever." 

Presence: In the joy of a wedding or the welcoming of a new child or the goodbyes that death brings, together - PRESENCE - matters. If there was a sign flying behind one of those planes you see in the sky and I was asked to put a message on it it would be this..."BE PRESENT IN ALL OF LIFE'S MOMENTS" No matter what those moments hold or what they'll cost you - your presence means more than you can ever know to those around you. 

What's hard about this fact is this - you cannot be present for a large number of people's moments...you're a person who can only really be present with a handful of people. If Jesus could be present with twelve, maybe we could all try half of that? ;) I don't know, but what I do know is that as the seasons change here on the farm our hearts are changed too. Made new by the long journey of learning to be present in the hard and in the easy. Present in the ups and downs, in the tensions, in the anger, in the sorrow, in the grief, the laughter, in the joy and in those holy moments when you look around and see the faces that stayed present with you and all you can do is cry...cry those holy tears born in the fellowship of Presence.