Off Grid Living, Reconciliation and Friendships (promise it all goes together:)
Living off grid. I've always wanted to do it, even more remote than we are now. Think little log cabin, no outlets or electronics and a pump at the sink. :) I love the idea of not needing a power or water company to live. But not having running water or electricity has been an adjustment to say the least.
I've learned a lot - maybe something that most folks in third world countries already know and for sure pioneers and Native Americans knew ...we're just all trying to get enough clean water and safe food to stay alive. We may think we're all out there changing the world, but at the end of the day we can't live without food and water. It's made me wrestle with what I've thought was important, what I thought mattered the most to God. Funny how having to actually think about clean water and safe food can change your thoughts on the Creator.
We have a view of the mountains that takes my breath every time I walk outside the camper. Seeing the beauty around me is a song of worship to Him in technicolor. I don't think I've missed a sunset since we moved here. I think too about how many sunsets I have missed - which now I know were opportunities to see creation praising Him. It grieves me, but I know better now.
So caught up in the cultural idolatry of busy/purpose/impact and so hell bent on "missional living" I didn't know how to actually live as a person. Once I realized that culture just wants my mind and my money and that Jesus never used the word "mission", but Love - it got a little easier to change. To step outside and reorient myself to simplicity.
Rereading Jesus' words accentuated what He kept trying to communicate - that He'd already changed the world - that He was the King, the Answer, the Everything. That as I went about living, simply being a person living a simple life, I could share this incredible news. This scandalous mercy He offers, just by living and loving.
I have enough Native American in me to be skeptical of rich white men and their ideas and I'm enough Scottish to not want to follow the crowd. So letting go of the pressurized Western thought that pushes "higher and better and faster and run myself into the ground" living wasn't so hard to let go. What was hard to let go of were ways of relating to people. But oddly not as hard as I thought it would be. Letting go of performance is a terrifying, beautiful thing.
A dear friend called last week, we caught up and then we started talking about friendship. She was asking if I'd made any new friends here. I told her that there were a lot of precious folks we'd like to get to know, but that the "need" for friends wasn't there like it used to be. Several female authors in my faith have separately said that having one or two close friends is a gift most never have in life. Not only do I agree, but I have been so blessed with so many dear friends throughout my life.
We kept talking as service went in and out because #mountains:) and I offered, "I wonder if when you're in your 30's you're asking your friends who you are and then here in the 40's I know who I am and honestly, I don't care what people think about it. I have no need anymore to be accepted and a part, but a great anticipation if it does happen." She laughed and agreed and shared that the idea of creating deep friendships with people really is exhausting, but worth it. Friendship is similar to living off grid, you cannot take for granted that it will be there - we've learned that for sure. It takes a lot of work to keep both going.
It takes a lot to keep a person alive too. Things I took for granted in the city - clean running water, electricity, washer/dryer, etc. they're not available here at my camper. Thankfully, we have access to clean water and we haul in about 20 gallons every other day. And we have a small generator that keeps our food cold - and if you turn off the mini fridge you can make a nice, hot pot of coffee. :)
No matter if you've thought about it or not - you and me...we're all just trying to survive. Hoping to eat that next meal and drink that next ounce of clean water. Seriously. So how does that relate to God? Well, if we boil life down to the things that equalizes us all - our humanity/need/frailty - we're all equal. Equally trying to live. There really is no more value on one over another. We are free to Love each other. Rather than us forcing what we think others need onto them, we can ask how to love them and then...love them.
There really is nothing we can do to give ourselves more value to God...certainly He cares just as much for the folks spending their whole day/life just trying to find clean water and food in third world countries while they love each other, as He does us here in privileged, busy America.
I don't know a lot about racial reconciliation, but what I do know is that privilege clouds things up like our creek after it rains. I know enough too to be able to share with a room full of mostly white men deliberating on how to help reconcile the races that "I do not believe white people, like most of us here, have the answers for those we have oppressed for hundreds of years. We need to learn from them how to reconcile this mess we created. I seriously doubt oppressors have the answers. I think we need to be quiet and offer support to the oppressed and their ideas. We need to shut up and listen, honestly."
And like privileged people (races that hold power/money) our privileged, ignorant way of assuming clean water and food will always be available has shaped how we go about our lives. It's shaped our churches, our communities and our families. People who are in the flooded Houston area will tell you that their hectic lives centered down real fast on what matters - surviving and helping others do the same. It's just pretty darn simple.
Eugene Peterson says that sin is this - the absence of great need of God. "I got this, God." kind of living is the biggest push against what He longs for most of all, relationship. What He longs for us to have here together, relationship.
Maybe we can learn something from the people in the third world countries we keep trying to help. I think we are the ones who need help...need help re-centering on some really basic ways of living. Maybe we could learn that we're all valued on what He's done for us and not what we can do for Him. If our whole day is spent trying to get that next glass of clean water and food and loving those around us...then that is enough. More than enough.
Lest you think I'm suggesting we all dial back the clock to the agrarian system that reminded us daily that we need God, I'm not. :) While that lifestyle appeals to me and it really has kept us on our knees as we plan and prepare this farm, we've paid a lot of money to have electricity and water (may it come next week please, sweet Jesus) readily available.
Here's what I'm saying - we've made this whole living for God too complicated. Modern conveniences have shifted so much of living to a frantic pace and it's changed our view of how He sees us too.
He's given us a whole beautiful world full of seasons and texture and tones and sounds and smells and we're too busy driving to the next thing or catching up on emails to notice...because we think purpose/value/identity is related to what we do. And we're too busy to know that water not coming out of the tap and grocery stores empty of clean food might be one hurricane away...clarifying what really matters - staying alive to worship Him through loving Him and others.
I agree that there is another world we're going to wake up in one day. I don't like mansions and rewards/crowns or being brought before a crowd of people and clapped for - so a lot of what is apparently attractive to others about Heaven never sparked my interest; but being with Him and the people I love forever means everything to me. So for now...I need to go buy some more water and turn the coffee pot off so I can turn the fridge back on before the food spoils. ;) And for now I'm determined to keep this living and loving pretty damn simple too...it's just too beautiful to do it any other way.:)
I've learned a lot - maybe something that most folks in third world countries already know and for sure pioneers and Native Americans knew ...we're just all trying to get enough clean water and safe food to stay alive. We may think we're all out there changing the world, but at the end of the day we can't live without food and water. It's made me wrestle with what I've thought was important, what I thought mattered the most to God. Funny how having to actually think about clean water and safe food can change your thoughts on the Creator.We have a view of the mountains that takes my breath every time I walk outside the camper. Seeing the beauty around me is a song of worship to Him in technicolor. I don't think I've missed a sunset since we moved here. I think too about how many sunsets I have missed - which now I know were opportunities to see creation praising Him. It grieves me, but I know better now.
So caught up in the cultural idolatry of busy/purpose/impact and so hell bent on "missional living" I didn't know how to actually live as a person. Once I realized that culture just wants my mind and my money and that Jesus never used the word "mission", but Love - it got a little easier to change. To step outside and reorient myself to simplicity.
Rereading Jesus' words accentuated what He kept trying to communicate - that He'd already changed the world - that He was the King, the Answer, the Everything. That as I went about living, simply being a person living a simple life, I could share this incredible news. This scandalous mercy He offers, just by living and loving.
 |
| Chief Joseph, Sitting Bull, Geronimo and Red Cloud Original Founding Fathers |
A dear friend called last week, we caught up and then we started talking about friendship. She was asking if I'd made any new friends here. I told her that there were a lot of precious folks we'd like to get to know, but that the "need" for friends wasn't there like it used to be. Several female authors in my faith have separately said that having one or two close friends is a gift most never have in life. Not only do I agree, but I have been so blessed with so many dear friends throughout my life.
We kept talking as service went in and out because #mountains:) and I offered, "I wonder if when you're in your 30's you're asking your friends who you are and then here in the 40's I know who I am and honestly, I don't care what people think about it. I have no need anymore to be accepted and a part, but a great anticipation if it does happen." She laughed and agreed and shared that the idea of creating deep friendships with people really is exhausting, but worth it. Friendship is similar to living off grid, you cannot take for granted that it will be there - we've learned that for sure. It takes a lot of work to keep both going.
It takes a lot to keep a person alive too. Things I took for granted in the city - clean running water, electricity, washer/dryer, etc. they're not available here at my camper. Thankfully, we have access to clean water and we haul in about 20 gallons every other day. And we have a small generator that keeps our food cold - and if you turn off the mini fridge you can make a nice, hot pot of coffee. :)
No matter if you've thought about it or not - you and me...we're all just trying to survive. Hoping to eat that next meal and drink that next ounce of clean water. Seriously. So how does that relate to God? Well, if we boil life down to the things that equalizes us all - our humanity/need/frailty - we're all equal. Equally trying to live. There really is no more value on one over another. We are free to Love each other. Rather than us forcing what we think others need onto them, we can ask how to love them and then...love them.
There really is nothing we can do to give ourselves more value to God...certainly He cares just as much for the folks spending their whole day/life just trying to find clean water and food in third world countries while they love each other, as He does us here in privileged, busy America.
I don't know a lot about racial reconciliation, but what I do know is that privilege clouds things up like our creek after it rains. I know enough too to be able to share with a room full of mostly white men deliberating on how to help reconcile the races that "I do not believe white people, like most of us here, have the answers for those we have oppressed for hundreds of years. We need to learn from them how to reconcile this mess we created. I seriously doubt oppressors have the answers. I think we need to be quiet and offer support to the oppressed and their ideas. We need to shut up and listen, honestly."
And like privileged people (races that hold power/money) our privileged, ignorant way of assuming clean water and food will always be available has shaped how we go about our lives. It's shaped our churches, our communities and our families. People who are in the flooded Houston area will tell you that their hectic lives centered down real fast on what matters - surviving and helping others do the same. It's just pretty darn simple.
Eugene Peterson says that sin is this - the absence of great need of God. "I got this, God." kind of living is the biggest push against what He longs for most of all, relationship. What He longs for us to have here together, relationship.
Lest you think I'm suggesting we all dial back the clock to the agrarian system that reminded us daily that we need God, I'm not. :) While that lifestyle appeals to me and it really has kept us on our knees as we plan and prepare this farm, we've paid a lot of money to have electricity and water (may it come next week please, sweet Jesus) readily available.
Here's what I'm saying - we've made this whole living for God too complicated. Modern conveniences have shifted so much of living to a frantic pace and it's changed our view of how He sees us too.
He's given us a whole beautiful world full of seasons and texture and tones and sounds and smells and we're too busy driving to the next thing or catching up on emails to notice...because we think purpose/value/identity is related to what we do. And we're too busy to know that water not coming out of the tap and grocery stores empty of clean food might be one hurricane away...clarifying what really matters - staying alive to worship Him through loving Him and others.
I agree that there is another world we're going to wake up in one day. I don't like mansions and rewards/crowns or being brought before a crowd of people and clapped for - so a lot of what is apparently attractive to others about Heaven never sparked my interest; but being with Him and the people I love forever means everything to me. So for now...I need to go buy some more water and turn the coffee pot off so I can turn the fridge back on before the food spoils. ;) And for now I'm determined to keep this living and loving pretty damn simple too...it's just too beautiful to do it any other way.:)
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