Jesus "Look Alike" Contest

I got there early to see her do what she's recently discovered she loves most ~ riding horses. My eight year old daughter was preparing to ride a palomino gelding around the barrels in the arena. I don't think the half-ton creature knew that he was being guided by a girl who weighs less than some dogs. Waiting in line for her turn to race the clock, her face was serious and yet peaceful. The Shakespeare quote came to mind while I watched her, "And though she be but little, she is fierce." 

Her horse had stepped too far up in line and in response, she pulls the reins back toward her tiny hips as she speaks firmly. "Stop and move back, Glimmer."  He shifted his ears to listen to her, put his head down and began to move his broad Quarter horse hips in reverse motion until she's satisfied that he's back in the right position. She looked up and caught my gaze. I smiled and raised my eyebrows to say, "You go, girl!" I watched her reach down to give Glimmer a "good job" pat on his muscular neck with a big grin on her little face. She loves this - loves the whole thing...watching her ride makes my own love of horses grow even more. I could watch her ride all day.

It's a beautiful thing to watch your children do something they really love...a really beautiful thing. Like most parents, I could sit and watch my kids do just about anything they enjoy all day long. Riding bikes, playing football, cooking, writing, holding a baby, singing, hammering a nail...just about anything they love, I love watching my children do it. It doesn't have to be professional grade or extraordinary - if they're loving it, I do too.

I wonder if that's how the Trinity feels about us when we do the simple, ordinary things of living. The lives created from within the middle of the Fellowship's love for each other, the Three in One, must delight them. How we're all so different and how we all worship them through the ordinary living of our lives, doing the things we love and the things that just have to be done too. When our hearts are turned toward Him it's all worship - every bit of it.

Watching my daughter ride around the arena that day, I thought about how it all seems so simple now, worshiping God with my living. I haven't forgotten that it's not always been simple for me. So much of my life I've lived with the core belief that I was here, along with others, to change the world. To live by a mandate to "go", live "missionally", raise children that would hold the "standard" and to die exhausted from doing all my good works. The story of Martha comes to mind. ;) 

Growing up with parents in full-time ministry, like other preachers' kids - my main understanding of God was that I was put here to suck it up and work for God. I did not know that I had been invited into a love story, the Great Romance, until I was almost forty. My understanding to that point was that Christianity was more like a popular network marketing company. Pay my fee (pray the prayer) get my kit (ministry), build my down line (disciples) and make my way to the top of Christendom (bear fruit). Hustling for my worthiness for God is like muscle memory - it's all I knew of Him and about Him and it's hard not to go back to living like before. Often I think that all of us human beings, trying to understand God, are like a group of toddlers trying to understand a computer and how it works and what it's for, what it can and can't do. Yet, God is so far beyond our simple understanding that I wonder if we're not missing it all together much of the time. I wonder if the closer we get to Him the simpler our faith really gets. I know mine has become extremely simple out of necessity ~ complicated was killing me. #loveGod #lovePeople

There's a great story about the original big screen comedian, Charlie Chaplin. The story goes that he secretly entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest in California. At the end of the contest the real Charlie Chaplin came in 27th place. Sometimes, I think Christians are like the people trying to win the Charlie Chaplin contest except we're trying to win the Jesus look alike contest? But maybe we're really like the Jews who looked past the real Jesus because they thought He'd look and act differently than the real one really did? He was not extraordinary enough, definitely not holy enough in their estimation and He wasn't going to take over and change their world through government so what good was He to them and their empire? He for sure wasn't what the religious of the day were looking for in a messiah. Maybe having a Jesus Look-Alike contest today would have the real Jesus coming in 27th place while someone more like everyone thinks He should be like gets first place. 

I had lived so much of my life trying to win the Jesus look-alike contest. Tried to please God so much that He would be to me what our priest calls, "The Cosmic Vending Machine". What I didn't know was that there's no contest. There's no place to put my spiritual coins of righteousness into the machine that will deliver blessings and lack of hardship and a great marriage and amazing children. In fact, counselors will tell you that over spiritualizing life is on the spectrum of spiritual abuse. I'd spent years abusing myself and others as I tried to win 1st place in the contest of hear God the best, doing good works the most, making the most disciples, etc. 

As my faith began to shift I had to start asking some hard questions. The question that needed asking the most was this... did Jesus really change the world or did He not? That's the real question, really. Because if He didn't change the world and it's up to you and me...well, we're all in a lot of trouble. If He didn't change the world and we have to become demi-gods who exhaust our spirits on hustling for our worthiness...I quit. I quit the whole thing. I've spent the first half of my life living like I was called to be a world changer and I'm not planning to live the last part anything like that at all. No, ma'am. 

Jesus came and changed everything. Every. Single. Thing. 

I love science. I'm not good at understanding much of it, but sometimes I'll read something and smile, especially when it helps me understand my faith. Reading about time and light and how it's frozen (you can read about it here) stretched my mind in a good way. So if scientist are right and time is really frozen in a way and everything that's ever happened or will happen is happening right now...EVERYTHING IS ALREADY MADE NEW BECAUSE OF HIS SACRIFICE. Everything.

So the next question is this - why am I here? I don't know why you're here - only you can know the answer to that question, but I'm here to prepare my heart for my Bridegroom and bring Him glory in everything I do...in all of the ordinary ways of living. That's it. 

My faith for almost forty years had been so much more complicated. Not the simple (profound) Love it is today. Of course, I know less now than I ever have before; but what I do know I really know. Simplicity brings peace and peace that often doesn't make any sense.

Even though it might rarely be verbalized, when we parade the extraordinary Christians in front of the rest of us "ordinary Christians" we communicate that Jesus didn't quite do the world changing we say that He did...we communicate that "Jesus needs our help, y'all. Bad." No...He doesn't need our help...He told us He just wants our hearts. Because when He has your heart, like any Lover, you'll do anything for Him. Our hearts turned toward Him and His movements on the earth, His loves and His holy desire for me and you changed the world forever. 

Whether I'm vacuuming the carpet in the family room or planting my garden or hands raised in a chapel...I feel the Trinity smiling because my heart is turned toward them...and I have joy in the ordinary. I am no longer a slave, I am a Bride in a kingdom. I'm married to the King who is making a place ready for all of us to live forever...as crazy and fairy tale-ish as that may sound.

These days, I'm living this life with my heart turned toward my Groom, not my slave master. He and I have a Father called the Ancient of Days and a Spirit, described as the Wind, who takes delight in us ~ just like the Lawman and I delight in our children. Whether it's watching one of them play with Legos, the other one ride horses, another dance, one work on his '78 Ford truck, the oldest fairy finding her path or talking with our oldest as he and his girl plan their life together...we are delighted. Absolutely delighted.

As my faith has simplified, so has everything else. I no longer find that I'm impressed with people's "extraordinary" displays of how they're following Jesus. I don't stand in awe of the stories brought back home from other countries of healings and salvations - although those are good things, the practice of finding Him in the ordinary is where I find real salvation is worked out. The ordinary folks who get up and do it again and again, allowing Love to change them and make them new and do it all again the next day...those are my heroes these days.

With simplicity gratitude cannot help, but grow. I don't for a minute claim to have walked through what cancer survivors have walked through, but I do understand what they mean when they say that they're thankful for cancer and how it changed how they see life and how they live. When life takes a hard right turn and you're just holding on for dear life and realize at the end that you're still alive...how you live cannot help, but change.

I'm thankful for this hard season we've walked through. It's changed me and the Lawman. There are still those nights like last night where we both sit outside under the hundred year old oak trees and cry about the whole thing. Times where I'll look at him and say, "This was always going to happen, Chris Burr. You've never felt like you were enough and I've always felt like I was too much and our worst fears came true...we were. But it was always going to happen...it was written into our story a long time ago." He shook his head and said, "For the first time I can say I'm grateful. Wouldn't want to do it again, but I'm grateful for the way it's changed us."

Me too. I'm grateful that we risked it - stopped hustling for our worthiness and found Him there at the end of the hustling waiting to hold us close and saying "I've already changed the world, you don't have to live like you're going to change it...enter into My rest." 

He's changed the world. Believing that requires a simple faith and a big dose of humility to know He is God and we are not and never will be. We're here just living ordinary lives; but beautiful to us lives, like most folks. When we look up and catch the gaze of the Trinity as they watch us, just like I watched my daughter ride Glimmer, well...it's just all worth it. All of it. I hope you can see them smiling at you today - smiling at how beautiful They've made your every part, You are fearfully and wonderfully made and you're really beautiful to us too. Really beautiful.