On Suffering and Death and Resurrection...

We're all sitting together around a cheap 6 ft table. Cold food on our paper plates, kids running in and out of the back door imaginations on full tilt. It's not a conducive atmosphere for much of anything sacred to happen. But it has become an altar where we confess our sins, remember His death, burial and resurrection. Where we come and "remember" Him and all that He has done for us.

Some of us are quiet in the moment, some wiping away tears and others simply reflective; but all of us sensing Him near to the brokenhearted. Some brave one has just shared about their battle with depression and how they're afraid it's "coming back" and the pain of all that could mean.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person 
in our lives mean the most to us, 
we often find that it is those who, 
instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, 
have chosen rather to share our pain and touch 
our wounds with a warm and tender hand. 
The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or 
confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, 
who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the 
reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”      Henri Nouwen 

Gathered around that worn and warped wood on foldable legs that we grabbed at a garage sale this past summer, something happens every time ~ Emmanuel.  God with us. And what we've learned is that if all we have is being present with Christ in us it is very really the Hope of Glory for anyone. 

For many of us there we've only recently learned the sacred holiness of surrendering to the pain that invites the intimacy of Emmanuel. Those places where everything and most everyone walks away from your pain or falls asleep while your soul sweat drops of blood during the small hours of the night as you choke out to Him, "If there could be any other way, Father..." 

Over the past few years we have all experienced how beauty and pain can hold hands and lead us right into His precious arms waiting to embrace us while He whispers, "I'm here, I'm here with you and I'm not going anywhere..."

Someone asked if this group of people that we gather with from house to house might not just be a collection of folks who want to talk about the hard of life. Makes me smile. I get it and I sit there sometimes and think "I don't know how I ended up here." What I do know is that if we agree to walk with Jesus He will walk us through His sufferings just as much as He will walk us into joy. 

He will lead us straight to the grave over and over again. In marriage, in work, in friendship, parenting...in life. Suffering, death and then resurrection. Winter and spring. Dying and living.

"We like to think we can have the resurrection without the death." Sarah Bessey says in her beautiful book...

But we cannot skip past the deaths. To enter into resurrection we have to surrender to the death. 

Used to I thought all of the hard in life was because I'd slipped up on the prayer, the tithing, the church work the______ whatever would fill the blank. But these days I see the sacred in the suffering. And yes - sometimes it's my own doing; yet, often it is His work finishing up something in me. We are like clay pots He's making as the Potter and putting us into the dark furnace where the impurities will be burned away and we will come out stronger.

I am still often afraid of the hollow darkness waiting in the tomb of whatever He's asking me to die to, but I know this now - I am not alone because He is Emmanuel. As a Bride of the Groom ~ there is always resurrection. Always. and He promises He won't leave us, 
"I will never leave or forsake you."

What the Father knew when His son asked Him to "remove this cup from me" was that the Joy waiting for His son on the other side of the grave would be more beautiful because of the pain of the cross He was asked to carry. He knows the Joy waiting for you too. 

But the pressure is off to resurrect yourself. You can't. But He can and He will...when it's time. He knows the way out. He has the keys of death held tight in His pierced hands. He knows the joy of resurrection ~ He knows the way out of the tomb. Everything will be made right. 

So no one at this wobbly, paint stained altar believes they have it "all together" anymore and I can't remember a time when advice or instructions or opinions have been offered after someone bravely spoke of their suffering. And yes, we all rejoice when resurrection happens in someone's life. All of us there has walked through deaths and seen resurrections. We all know that Emmanuel isn't worried or anxious, He's already conquered everything we fear. He's the only one who ever woke up from death and He is there with us. Emmanuel. 

We know this little band of Believers won't be together forever or for long ~ that was never the thought anyway. A lot of us are here while we look for a new church body, some are here while we call moving companies to pack up and head across state lines and others of us are here waiting to hear Him show us next steps.

But we are all here with Emmanuel and He is enough and He is here. Present. Wherever we find Jesus we find Him making dead things come to life. So if you feel like you're dead or dying ~ Emmanuel, He's bringing you Life...don't be afraid. He's coming and He's already here. Resurrection is coming.