Why I Stopped Being A Christian in the 21st Century
Being a Christian right after Jesus rose from the dead meant something totally different from what it is interpreted as today. Ask 10 different people what it means and you'll get 10 different answers. And most of them won't include Jesus. I know that's where I was 7 seven years ago when - as a Christian - I came to a church and heard about Jesus for the first time. True story. I thought being a Christian meant not doing "bad things" (that never stops BTW until Jesus comes back:) and living a moral life and telling others about Christianity. I'm sorry, but it's true. That's what our precious pastors had to work with when we arrived on their doorstep tired and not really great at this Christianity thing. But we really did love Jesus...we just didn't know a lot about him.
So what does it mean to be a Christian? I'm not sure anymore as there seem to be a variety of folks out there calling themselves that and I really don't want to be associated with them. But I know what it means to follow Jesus. :) I've been smiling all week about this and thought to blog about it a little while my toddlers are happy at play. It's the difference between PERFORMANCE and OBEDIENCE.
"Sometimes, momma - in our faith culture - we communicate that if something we're going to do isn't 'hard' it probably isn't Jesus."
I'm sitting there smiling at my almost 19yo daughter. She's her father with more estrogen I always say - compassionate, pastoral, easily offended for the third party, HIGH on justice, loves being with the suffering, silly and one of the most peaceful people I've ever met. But like her dad, when she feels trapped or pushed - she resists. And mostly for good reason. She's right - in Christianity we almost always glorify the hard things people do in life. Almost always. They're the stories I talk about anyway...
When I ask her about what she means and how she wants to respond she explains that she wants to push back on that kind of Christianity. The kind that says ease is from the Pit and hard is more Christ-like. "I just want to hear Jesus and do whatever He says. That's all I want to do and sometimes that looks 'easier' than what we call being on mission." I get it and I agree.
The way the Lawman and I are wired works great in a lot of ways for us. Jesus even uses this part of us, but we both know it's not because we "man up" - it's just who we are; how He's allowed us to be wired...we like hard things. But in many other areas of life we see the ways that our brokenness in this area is fertile soil to grow performance - which we are married to here in the West. "Look at my degree...look at my career...look at my house...look at my cars...look at how successful my kids are...." If you like "hard" in the West, you're probably considered pretty successful. Bless you. Bless me. We don't need Jesus a lot do we? The list really never stops in our culture. And to think it doesn't bleed over into Christianity is a foolish oversight. Which in a lot of ways I think Christianity has become how we interpret the Bible and how good we feel like we're doing our interpretation. Performance.
I have this younger momma friend who I absolutely love. She has two toddlers and so do I, but there's a 12 year gap between us and she keeps me young and I keep her...I don't know what I keep her, but we love walking through mommy-hood together. ;) She also works part-time as a Child Life Specialist. If you don't know what these angels do for a living take a minute and Google that title. But needless to say - she's braver than most and she's in her calling, both in motherhood and as a CLS. She would tell you that it's not easy, but that Jesus shows up and helps her love her job and the children she helps. Have you ever thought about helping a child who's about to die to die peacefully? Or maybe the child was in a horrific car accident and is loosing it - of course - and your presence and training can bring a measure of calm to this kid? Not to mention to then turn around and hold their grieving mom and dad. I cry EVERY SINGLE TIME she tells me the stories she walks through at work. And every single time I think "I could NEVER do her job, Jesus. I'll go to Mongolia, have six kids and shave my head...no problem, but we both know I'm not called to be a Child Life Specialist. Amen." And she and I both laugh at the thought of me falling apart in those circumstances. I'm fine to back down a drunk man in another country or hike my toddler girls over the fence that shamans have set up around a spring they cursed and to break off that curse in Jesus' name...but helping hurting children?? Oh, Jesus...
So today I'm talking to this fireball, fearless friend about how she wants to pray for people at the grocery store. How she has a precious friend who does this and sees people she hopes are moving closer to Jesus. And I hear it in her voice...shame. I listen for awhile and say "I'm getting ready to be honest with you." She says "I wouldn't expect anything else." and so I tell her how I'm hearing performance and shame coming from her mouth and all at the same time. I ask her if she wonders if this friend who shares Jesus at the grocery store would maybe think every Christian should cradle the dying babies at the local children's hospital? And we all know she wouldn't...we all would say that holding dying babies and comforting their parents is a calling nobody could do on their own. We also would all say that Jesus is the only one who can come and help someone do a job like that day after day. Just like Jesus comes and helps this sweet momma pray for people at the grocery store. Just like my friend who prays fervently to be brave no matter what comes through the children's ER doors that night.
But because we're drawn to performance in our faith we put things on people. Like if you're not doing the "Christian list" "It's because you're scared...and if you REALLY love Jesus you wouldn't be scared. Or at least you'd do it scared." Like somehow Peter who denied Jesus three times one night just "manned up" over the next few days and somehow got BOLD and preached at the temple and led a bunch of folks to Jesus. Like it was all on Peter...Peter getting not afraid, Peter performing better..."Peters' just getting better at being a Super Christian". Or. We could look at Peter and say "Something happened to him..." and Something did happen to Peter. Peter heard the Father and did what he told Peter to do...not because of Peter's ability to not be afraid anymore, but because of the Holy Spirit. Usually, in Christianity we like to not wait on the Holy Spirit to come...we usually just try to do stuff on our own.
What changes when we remove performance from being a Jesus-Follower is that we learn to:
PRAY
WAIT
OBEY
Like the disciples did when Jesus was still in the grave. They were praying for courage and waiting. And He came. Because when we pray for the things we ALL want to see happen in our walk with Jesus he responds. HE'S ATTRACTED TO WEAKNESS!!! But He's not asking us to verbally share our faith wherever we go or to all become a CLS...He's only asking us to do what He did and that's to ask God "What do you want me to do here?" and then go do whatever He says. Whatever He says.
There's a story about Jesus talking to thousand's of people. People who had probably walked miles to hear him speak. So he tells stories. The stories are confusing to the thousands. His few friends came to ask Jesus what he meant. Because there were only twelve left after Jesus talked to thousands. Twelve. Not too successful in our Western minds. What he said was "I told those confusing stories on purpose because I knew that the crowds wouldn't understand and you would come and ask." Jesus?!!! You confused people on purpose?? I've never seen that taught in an evangelism book.
JESUS WASN'T A PERFORMER AND IT MADE PEOPLE MAD.
Jesus only wanted to hear his dad speak and do whatever he said because Jesus knew that walking in that obedience was the ONLY PLACE to find joy and peace. "For the joy set before him, Jesus endured the cross." Hearing Jesus and doing whatever he says is the most addictive thing - far more addictive than the approval of man.
If you're finding that you can't get this Christian thing down...stop being a Christian and just start following Jesus. I know that sounds strange coming from a person who's been a Christian for 40 years, but I mean it. Look at what Jesus said in the Bible. Talk to Jesus every day. Listen to what He says and JUST DO IT!!!! Seven + years ago some precious people started telling us that "It's all about Jesus...point to Jesus." And they're right. This is not about being a Christian - because that can mean a thousand things to a thousand different people.
IT'S ALL ABOUT JESUS.
ALL OF IT.
So what does it mean to be a Christian? I'm not sure anymore as there seem to be a variety of folks out there calling themselves that and I really don't want to be associated with them. But I know what it means to follow Jesus. :) I've been smiling all week about this and thought to blog about it a little while my toddlers are happy at play. It's the difference between PERFORMANCE and OBEDIENCE.
"Sometimes, momma - in our faith culture - we communicate that if something we're going to do isn't 'hard' it probably isn't Jesus."
I'm sitting there smiling at my almost 19yo daughter. She's her father with more estrogen I always say - compassionate, pastoral, easily offended for the third party, HIGH on justice, loves being with the suffering, silly and one of the most peaceful people I've ever met. But like her dad, when she feels trapped or pushed - she resists. And mostly for good reason. She's right - in Christianity we almost always glorify the hard things people do in life. Almost always. They're the stories I talk about anyway...When I ask her about what she means and how she wants to respond she explains that she wants to push back on that kind of Christianity. The kind that says ease is from the Pit and hard is more Christ-like. "I just want to hear Jesus and do whatever He says. That's all I want to do and sometimes that looks 'easier' than what we call being on mission." I get it and I agree.
The way the Lawman and I are wired works great in a lot of ways for us. Jesus even uses this part of us, but we both know it's not because we "man up" - it's just who we are; how He's allowed us to be wired...we like hard things. But in many other areas of life we see the ways that our brokenness in this area is fertile soil to grow performance - which we are married to here in the West. "Look at my degree...look at my career...look at my house...look at my cars...look at how successful my kids are...." If you like "hard" in the West, you're probably considered pretty successful. Bless you. Bless me. We don't need Jesus a lot do we? The list really never stops in our culture. And to think it doesn't bleed over into Christianity is a foolish oversight. Which in a lot of ways I think Christianity has become how we interpret the Bible and how good we feel like we're doing our interpretation. Performance.
I have this younger momma friend who I absolutely love. She has two toddlers and so do I, but there's a 12 year gap between us and she keeps me young and I keep her...I don't know what I keep her, but we love walking through mommy-hood together. ;) She also works part-time as a Child Life Specialist. If you don't know what these angels do for a living take a minute and Google that title. But needless to say - she's braver than most and she's in her calling, both in motherhood and as a CLS. She would tell you that it's not easy, but that Jesus shows up and helps her love her job and the children she helps. Have you ever thought about helping a child who's about to die to die peacefully? Or maybe the child was in a horrific car accident and is loosing it - of course - and your presence and training can bring a measure of calm to this kid? Not to mention to then turn around and hold their grieving mom and dad. I cry EVERY SINGLE TIME she tells me the stories she walks through at work. And every single time I think "I could NEVER do her job, Jesus. I'll go to Mongolia, have six kids and shave my head...no problem, but we both know I'm not called to be a Child Life Specialist. Amen." And she and I both laugh at the thought of me falling apart in those circumstances. I'm fine to back down a drunk man in another country or hike my toddler girls over the fence that shamans have set up around a spring they cursed and to break off that curse in Jesus' name...but helping hurting children?? Oh, Jesus...So today I'm talking to this fireball, fearless friend about how she wants to pray for people at the grocery store. How she has a precious friend who does this and sees people she hopes are moving closer to Jesus. And I hear it in her voice...shame. I listen for awhile and say "I'm getting ready to be honest with you." She says "I wouldn't expect anything else." and so I tell her how I'm hearing performance and shame coming from her mouth and all at the same time. I ask her if she wonders if this friend who shares Jesus at the grocery store would maybe think every Christian should cradle the dying babies at the local children's hospital? And we all know she wouldn't...we all would say that holding dying babies and comforting their parents is a calling nobody could do on their own. We also would all say that Jesus is the only one who can come and help someone do a job like that day after day. Just like Jesus comes and helps this sweet momma pray for people at the grocery store. Just like my friend who prays fervently to be brave no matter what comes through the children's ER doors that night.But because we're drawn to performance in our faith we put things on people. Like if you're not doing the "Christian list" "It's because you're scared...and if you REALLY love Jesus you wouldn't be scared. Or at least you'd do it scared." Like somehow Peter who denied Jesus three times one night just "manned up" over the next few days and somehow got BOLD and preached at the temple and led a bunch of folks to Jesus. Like it was all on Peter...Peter getting not afraid, Peter performing better..."Peters' just getting better at being a Super Christian". Or. We could look at Peter and say "Something happened to him..." and Something did happen to Peter. Peter heard the Father and did what he told Peter to do...not because of Peter's ability to not be afraid anymore, but because of the Holy Spirit. Usually, in Christianity we like to not wait on the Holy Spirit to come...we usually just try to do stuff on our own.
What changes when we remove performance from being a Jesus-Follower is that we learn to:
PRAY
WAIT
OBEY
Like the disciples did when Jesus was still in the grave. They were praying for courage and waiting. And He came. Because when we pray for the things we ALL want to see happen in our walk with Jesus he responds. HE'S ATTRACTED TO WEAKNESS!!! But He's not asking us to verbally share our faith wherever we go or to all become a CLS...He's only asking us to do what He did and that's to ask God "What do you want me to do here?" and then go do whatever He says. Whatever He says.
There's a story about Jesus talking to thousand's of people. People who had probably walked miles to hear him speak. So he tells stories. The stories are confusing to the thousands. His few friends came to ask Jesus what he meant. Because there were only twelve left after Jesus talked to thousands. Twelve. Not too successful in our Western minds. What he said was "I told those confusing stories on purpose because I knew that the crowds wouldn't understand and you would come and ask." Jesus?!!! You confused people on purpose?? I've never seen that taught in an evangelism book.
JESUS WASN'T A PERFORMER AND IT MADE PEOPLE MAD.
Jesus only wanted to hear his dad speak and do whatever he said because Jesus knew that walking in that obedience was the ONLY PLACE to find joy and peace. "For the joy set before him, Jesus endured the cross." Hearing Jesus and doing whatever he says is the most addictive thing - far more addictive than the approval of man.
If you're finding that you can't get this Christian thing down...stop being a Christian and just start following Jesus. I know that sounds strange coming from a person who's been a Christian for 40 years, but I mean it. Look at what Jesus said in the Bible. Talk to Jesus every day. Listen to what He says and JUST DO IT!!!! Seven + years ago some precious people started telling us that "It's all about Jesus...point to Jesus." And they're right. This is not about being a Christian - because that can mean a thousand things to a thousand different people.
IT'S ALL ABOUT JESUS.
ALL OF IT.
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